OMG

I can't believe how crazy life is. I have not been home in 7 days except to sleep. My house is trashed, I am way behind at work, and I am too tired to even begin to try to figure out a plan to get thru it all. I am offically OVER this school year and have very different feelings about being a working mother. I love my job but get depressed when I really allow myself to see what having this job does to the dynamic of my life. My kids get the worst of me. I am so tired of kids and whining and neediness by 4 o'clock that I barely have enough patience for a simple conversation. Much less my own kids who have been at school all day and are tired and have many needs as well. I come home to a trashed house everyday ( who has the energy to clean after waking up at 5:30 a.m. and working all day?), kids immediatly spouting off their needs, many chores that need to be done, phone calls to return, emails to respond to, papers to grade, dinner to figure out, kids to bathe, homework to be done, clothes to pick out, softball practices and games....should I go on? .......and somehow I am suppose to smile and be this wonderful mother and wife and act like I can do it all SO well? Betty Crock of **** is who I feel like. Yeah right.

I just want to vent to anyone who is willing to listen and say this......To all the stay at home moms, God bless you! You have the right idea. You have your priorities in line. You are willing to make the sacrafices financially so you can be your best to those who really matter. You get to make scrapbooks for your kids, volunteer in their classrooms, bake cookies for their teachers, and make dinner for your family. You get to tuck your child in at night knowing they did not sit in the after school program after a long, tiring day of school just wishing they were at home with mom. After 2 years of teaching, I have come to the conclusion that this working mother thing is some kind of sick joke. I'm dying here! I had no idea what would happen to me when I got a job. I've aged 5 years in 2 years....that's not good.

On a lighter note, summer is quickly approaching so I will finally be able to spend quality time with my kids. I will finally be able to put them to bed before 10 and feel good about myself as a mother. I will finally be able to THINK past 5 o'clock. I will finally have laundry folded and in place instead of thrown all over the floor in piles. I will finally be able to make phone calls and reconnect with my family and friends. I will be able to really talk to God without falling asleep or forgetting what I was saying in the middle of a prayer. WHOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO! Till then...