Twenty10:243

Kaitlin is persistant. When she wants something, she won't stop until she gets it. I have gotten her to a point to at least understand the nature of "want" and how powerful, and empty it is....but she rolls her eyes when it's time to apply that theory to her wants. And at this moment, you are looking at an image of girl who got what she wanted, which was just a simple binder that holds all 7 of her classes worth of stuff in it. She swore she was allowed to have it, and told me of a girl she knows who has one and how "neat and orgnaized" it made her locker.

My only argument was that I had just spent $100.00 on her back to school needs, and I was not up for spending another penny on her current wants, because that list never ends. I had already bought her all of the individual binders she needed that were on the supply list. I bought her locker decorations, a locker shelf organizer, a new bookbag, lunchbox, clothes, shoes, ect. But she swore she needed this mega binder, and she made a pretty impressive case as to why. When she wants something, she obsesses over it. She's relentless.

I don't want to spoil my kids, so I say no to them a lot. Actually, I have to sya no to them a lot because I can't afford to give them all that they want. But I also want to teach them that wanting something is a fleeting feeling, and if you can just let the feeling ride for a month...you won't want it anymore. It usually works for me, but it doesn't seem to work for her. And I know how she feels.

I want the 24-70 2.8 mm lens so bad I can taste it, but it costs $1500.00 on SALE, so the actual realization that I will probobly never be able to afford it (given my chosen profession) has recently set it. And it hurts. So I caved. Not on my own desires, but on Kaitlin's. I was persistantly trying to teach Kaitlin a lesson about wanting something until I hit a wall. She wants an $8.00 binder, I want a $1500.00 lens. She hasn't given up, and it has been a month. She is still asking, compromising, offering to work it off, ect. I realized I might be taking out my own want issues on her. In the back of my mind I am pretty sure I was thinking, "If I can't have what I want, you are not getting what you want." I saw how backwards that thinking was and I got her the darn notebook. But I did make her wait.

I still stand by my beliefs in not spoiling children with things (spoil them with love), but it was an $8.00 notebook, you know? Funny things is......by the time I was able to write about this story down.....she was told she can't have it by her teachers. All that for nothing. Hmmmmm.